An audio treat from Mblackwell.

I’m Tim Marshall, a former military captain before now. Now I just work in the mines. I found this notepad laying around here, and the pen still works, so I guess I will finish this guy’s story.

Them shadows can still be seen round these parts they sometimes say. I don’t believe it much though. Anyone whos says they’s still seein shadows is pullin your leg. They all changed, jus’ like that.

So I’m sitting there watching tv… and I see it: a commercial for a Syrup made by Eggo (“leggo my eggo!”). Or… so I think! I’m watching this commercial, and here we go, here’s the clincher, here’s what they guy says “Eggo Maple ‘Flavored’ Syrup”. Did you see that, the ‘Flavored’ bit?

Come on, Vampires vs Werewolves? You had to see the semi high score coming. Combined with ancient blood feuds, twisting conspiracies, cool punk gothic universe, and some badass blood transfusion type stuff it’s almost inevitable. Of course the movie gets points docked for copying off of things in the White Wolf universe, not that that’s a bad place to copy from, but they don’t even admit it!

About 2 years ago (2040 for those that aren’t in the know) Vegas was destroyed. No competition you see. Can’t have that. In fact, anything involving women was destroyed. Oh, you may think to yourself, did men finally snap? Did they finally become COMPLETELY insane like the women so dear to their hearts and take over absolutely? Well no, not quite. I mean, at first men celebrated somethin’ different, and then they celebrated women as they dwindled, and now that women are gone, they can only fear and at the same time covet that somethin’ different.

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH—After a strange 911 call, police found the body of 3 year old Martin Saston in his home, being eaten by Legos. His parents too had been attacked in trying to save him, and only because of the arrival of the police (due to a frantic call by a neighbor) were they prevented from the same fate. The legos quickly built themselves into miscelanious vehicles and took off carrying the child’s hundreds of lego men, women, and animals with them. Since then (August 11th, 2:01pm) more reports have surfaced of such attacks, and investigators have been deep into the story. Through much research and the capture of afew of these dastardly plasticine toys, police have gathered masses of information.

SILICON VALLEY,CA—Recent reports have sparked staunch investigation by top officials. Through threats and offers of booze and cake, it appears a growing mob syndicate known as The Maraschino Cherries has come into power.