When you think extreme, daring, anti-establishment, and hip to the new generation of consumers, no doubt the name topping your list is Barney Rubble. Since emerging from semi-retirement in the mid-80s to promote Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles cereals, he has gone from goofy neighbor to pop culture’s number one bad boy.

Rubble is pretty modest about his success. “Hey, with enough training, anyone can do what I do. The first step was dumping that crazy bitch of a wife. You can’t do this kind of work and not come home to a hot tub full of groupies.”

But where Rubble has met with success, it has come at a price. Longtime neighbor Fred Flintstone recently filed charges against Barney alleging theft of his Pebbles cereal.

“He’s a klepto,” Flintstone insists. “The guy can’t stop. He used to be a decent guy, but all the commercials are getting to his head. He thinks he’s a master burglar one minute, a ninja the next. Last Christmas he pulled the Santa schtick on me. Again. Like I’m dumb enough to fall for that one.”

Rubble contends that if he ever stole from Fred outside of their commercials, it was only because he was doing research for a role.

With Hollywood backing him despite compelling evidence of his guilt, Rubble is garnering bigger roles and bigger acclaim. Rumors abound that he’s being considered for the lead in the next installment of the Conan franchise, and his new clothing line is being well received. Deep down, though, Rubble just wants to be a family man.

“I recently joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,” beams Rubble. “With my star power behind them, I’m sure the church will get the Utah anti-polygamy laws repealed. Then I can settle down with my stable.”