Halloween Horrorama VII: New Moon Rising (2010)
A dozen eyes bloodied by the horrors of horrible horror movies bring you reviews of said horror movies.
Altered (2006)
Time to waste no time wasting time with movies that aren’t much good . . . or are they?! If you followed that, you might be able to follow the abstractly-titled “Altered.” But you probably won’t care either. Horrorama is back!
Santa’s Slay (2005), Rated R
Merry CHRISTMAS, motherfuckers.
The Crazies (2010)
I guess they’re a little like zombies, but they have their own crazy motivations and can work in groups. Sort of like the Tea Party.
City of the Living Dead (1980)
Oz meets Italy in a movie about corpses that just don’t stay dead. I bet you NEVER expected this!
Blood on Satan’s Claw (1971)
Cool title, not quite as cool in execution. Satan’s livin’ large in Britain and the Doctor’s not around to stop him!
The Food of the Gods (1976)
When giant monsters attack!
The Last Man on Earth (1964)
How have I completely failed to do a Vincent Price movie, ever? Time to rectify that as of now.
Clive Barker’s Jericho (2006)
This is one hell of a video game! WHAT. Will you just let me do this.
Abominable (2006)
A Bigfoot/Yeti/Sasquatch/giant hairy retard eating comely coeds? Sounds cool until you also find out it was a SyFy channel original. Oh, did I mention Hitchcock? Because I probably should . . .
Re-Animator (1985)
A compulsively watchable, darkly hilarious, nastily gross, and pretty much tasteless movie. Which I love–now find out why.
OK, sure I already told you why, but you still need to see this movie, dammit!