Hellraiser 7: Deader (2005)
FWASH!!!!!!! Wow, it took a while to grant my inmost desire, but The Box has actually sent me back in time to watch a good Hellraiser movie after last year’s debacle.
She's still got it.
Yeah, I know, this is a dizzying #7 in the franchise, and yeah, it went straight to DVD, and yeah, you’re all smirking about the title. Wait, don’t harsh on this one though–Pinhead just named it that to separate mere cognoscenti from those lusting after total knowledge of the series. What! He’s been known to!! In any event, all I should need to get you to fetch this puppy right now is to name-drop the lovely Kari Wuhrer, the worthiest Hellraiser heroine since Ashley Laurance.
Plot 3/5:
This little treat is pure World of Darkness–much like Coraline, its evocative visuals form a weighty frame around a thin canvas of plot. The quick pace works this time though, getting us right into an original, exciting quest. Kari is (not “plays”) Amy Klein, star investigative reporter for an underground rag headed by her Mephistophelean boss Charles (Simon Kunz). In fact, there’s a positively brilliant exchange where Charles reminds us that “The word demon comes from the Greek word for knowledge.” True or not, that’s going on my gravestone’s teeshirt. Now Amy’s newest assignment is to track down a mysterious cult–the Deaders–as seen in a video Charles got his hands on, featuring the apparent murder and subsequent resurrection of a young initiate. After flexing her Gather Information skillz and booting some fat guy full in the nutsack, Amy pinches The Box from a dead “Deader” girl. Ready to get cthonically creepy, movie? Yeah?
This is prooaaabably not hot.
There’s a great subway sequence on what I am forced to term the “Skin Bus” that makes for a wonderfully memorable transition to bring Amy to Pandor and Kovatch, the address of the Deaders’ house, or apartment complex, or shitpit of suffering, whatever. Here she encounters the enigmatic Winter (Paul Rhys), cult leader and descendant of Phillip Lemarchand, the box’s maker (however, this particular hook is quite unoriginal by now). Right about then shit maximally harshes out.
Sure, Deader‘s ending could’ve been more substantial, but unlike Hellworld’s douchebaggy finish, this movie kinda pulls it off since hopefully you’ve already come to accept it as more of an intriguingly disturbing gallery than a painstakingly-penned novel–and this, for me at least, is its saving grace.
Cast: 4/5
Joey didn't start the fire, despite being an accomplished firestarter.
Kari is about 38 here, still managing a captivating mid-twenties look and attitude for her spunky journalist. She also makes one hell of a knockout brunette. Kari’s immediately likeable and a surprisingly great horror actress—the archetypal WoD goth chick!
We’re certainly short on characters, but most of them are well-crafted. Admittedly, Winter was ehh… not at all believable, while the “Deader” girl freaked me out just fine. Grabbing special mention and other unsavory things is “Joey” (Mark Warren) conductor/ringmaster of the Skin Bus. He did a great job as a savvy hedonist lowlife who knows just a bit more than he lets on. Kunz is pretty cool as Amy’s editor Charles, coming off as one of those intellectual horror dons like Wes Craven or Robert Englund, if you’ve ever seen them hold forth on the topic of dark scary things.
Looks like this fellow's in a real bind. He should have switched from cable to DirecTV. Ahhhh. Enjoy the show.
Naturally, Pinhead is still portrayed by his human avatar, Doug Bradley. Yep, he’s still quite beyond pleasure and pain, and he’s still bringin’ the doomtastic dialogue. Only he can turn this into a really good quote: “Don’t think for a moment you are not in danger.” Seriously, don’t think that. He’ll totally call you on it!
FX/Cinematography: 5/5:
This is a grody, skeevy movie, and yet this very fact made me feel the more privileged to see it, imagining myself slumming around a VIP rave. As sheer bonus, you’re gonna find more titty than you get in many other Hellraisers, in accordance with these modern takes, but still less than in the raw boobfest that was Hellworld. Pinhead was just poppin’ balloons everywhere he went in that one.
Come check out the great backdrops here (no, not just Kari’s ass); I was afraid to miss a second of them, often rewinding to take them all in (no, not just Kari’s ass). True story, this review has been a year in the making, and I rented the movie twice because back in HH5 I suddenly had the tech for screenshots. The panoramas didn’t make the final cut, but I’ll tell ya, I had about two dozen saved just for inspiration.
Hey! Hey you! Kari also shows tasteful nippage (no, not just Kari’s ass).
Finally, there’s a really intense knife-in-the-back scene while Kari’s in the tub. That one definitely got the proper treatment and freakout level. Matter of fact, it’s the real core and premise of the movie.
Chain chain chaaaain....chaaaain of fooools...heh heh
Cultycorn Factor 3/5:
Deader is one of the few Hellraisers that I’d call a true film. I’m not knocking the franchise as a whole, not by any means; it’s just that Pinhead’s adventures don’t tend to be arranged all that well, or really contain much more than their uniquely resonant themes and visuals. To compensate, Deader has moody atmosphere from start to finish and offers a peerless tableau of scenery. Oddly, the handful of reviews I found are fairly negative, which I think is somewhat shortsighted in light of its actual intent and subject. Snap.
Without a doubt, though, Deader isn’t anything you would watch for a strictly good time since it quickly gets grim in a “Crap, sucks to be her” way that’s nowhere near fun. Growingly oppressive though it may be, I found this a very worthy addition to the series indeed. Now Inferno (#5) is the only one I haven’t laid eyes on, although I don’t expect to need to cover that any time soon. Whew, no time-raping distortion this time. All right then!