It turns out there is a name for this movie, after all: it’s “Derivative.”

You can’t do that on television!  No, really, you can’t.  Because it’s gross.

Japan is afraid of shapes I guess.  This is one of those shapes.

It’s the reason for the season when the Hainns and Fu team up to bag themselves the White Whale of turkeys.

8 Golden Razzies? Lindsay Lohan in an “adult” role? Why would anyone….

I ain’t afraid of no ghost. Especially not crappy repetitive ones.

I woke up this morning with a semi-vom-covered stone tablet wedged under my door, and next to it an uncomfortably large and oderous pile of, well, poo. The tablet appeared to have some arcane “review” or another Fu Schnickens delivered for this, well I guess you could call it a movie–if your standards are low enough. Oh, and the poo had a Post-It note on it saying “This could be you.” I’m not sure if that was for me or the movie, but either way, Schnickens speaks up on “The Strangers.” And I helped!

They have ETERNITY to bore your flesh!

Uwe Boll takes another stab at being this generation’s Ed Wood in yet another video game movie. Maybe one day he’ll actually succeed, but until that day comes, “enjoy” this instead.

A throwback to the old-school slasher with all the budget and quality you’ve come to expect of a video on YouTube.