The Wicker Man (1973)
After my eye-straining patience-snapping irritation of The Ghouls, I really needed something that wouldn’t take a shit in my shoes and then laugh about it. I knew just the cure: another Christopher Lee movie!
Premise: 3/5
This is one of those movies where saying too much about the plot would be a huge disservice. There’s some stuff in this movie that going into it cold will give you the best kind of “WTF?” In brief, though it all begins with Sgt. Howie investigating the disappearance of a little girl on a remote and somewhat xenophobic island. The girl’s mother had sent him a letter saying that she hadn’t seen her daughter in 6 months and was afraid something terrible had happened to her. On the island, the townies all seem nice enough, but they all insist that there is no Rowan Morrison on the island and never has been. As Howie investigates, he starts, if not necessarily learning more about Rowan, learning more about the inhabitants’ “unusual” lives. Anything more is in danger of keeping some wackiness from firing right, so I’ll leave it at that. However, I do want to warn you that I can’t say I’d call this a horror movie. The ending is kind of horrific, but don’t expect to be in utter terror the whole time. It’s closer to gothic, only without all the makeup. It does really drag at times, but it also rewards your patience, if for nothing more than the thematically apocalyptic (not in the “world exploding” sense, but more….biblical?) finale.
Cast: 4/5
It has Christopher Lee. Oh, you need more? Well, most of the cast is only just okay, but Edward Woodward, who plays Sgt. Howie is definitely good. The commercials led me to believe that he was going to be an overacting screamer, but he manages to keep himself pretty tight for the most part, which is just what the role of the devoutly Christian cop needs. He could’ve played the “righteous” angle up more and been insufferable, but he keeps a good equilibrium and doesn’t hoke out. Christopher Lee still rules the roost though, even if he doesn’t really come in until about halfway through the movie. He basically runs the show on the island as Lord Summerisle, and manages to be both disarming and kind of ominous at the same time. Oh, and also there is a healthy dose of boobs in the movie, both nekkid and not-so-nekkid, so really there’s something for everyone!
Technical: 3/5
Not a lot in the special effects department to speak of in this movie, as it’s, at least for the first part, a bit of a weird sort of mystery. There is a wicker man, though, and some creepy animal masks, so it’s something at least. The music, however, tends to stagger between really good and appropriate to “WTF?” and “will it please stop?” And sometimes the transition is so jarring it leaves you cold, or laughing in a really bad way.
I’ll tell ya what, though….maybe it’s just the re-release of the movie and they remastered it or something, but this movie just looks good. It’s got beautiful scenery, good angles, and just has a really crisp and clean look that goes a long way towards soothing my eyes after that “Ghouls” fiasco. There’s a few seasonal gaffes, but nothing crushing. Everything looks real, and maybe it was all filmed on location somewhere—since I can’t tell, you know it’s good. The realistic and appealing locations for this movie add a lot to the impact of the finale.
Popcorn Factor: 2/5
As I said above, this movie’s a little more of a gothic mystery than what you might consider horror. It’s got a very measured pace to it, and some parts especially near the beginning to seem to go on probably longer than they should with, well, basically inconsequential stuff. It’s trying to build an atmosphere, which I can appreciate, but it can also come awfully close to losing my interest completely. Once the movie gets past all that and starts digging into the real meat and potatoes, it doesn’t let up and builds the suspense that keeps on firing all through the climax and beyond. It’s definitely something different, and as long as you bring a bit of patience and an open mind, you won’t walk away disappointed.